A Monster Ate My Homework was summarily
written and published, and it continues to be a top-seller to high
schools. The reason for this success, Kelly insists, is that he tries to
stay abreast of "what kids are thinking and hoping and dreaming. It's
wonderful," he confesses. "Everyone's younger than I am, and I never have
to grow up."
Indeed, students at schools where Kelly holds readings of new plays
often seem more mature than the playwright himself. "Their language
presents a bit of a problem," Kelly admits. "I won't write profanity into
a play. Perhaps that's unrealistic, but I find it repulsive. On the other
hand, you can't write down to young people in any sense. No cute bunnies
on the stump saying, `It's a lovely day!' What I try to write," he
decides, "is gentle escapism."
But creating escapism is not always easy. While writing an adaptation
of Alice in Wonderland for Pioneer, Kelly discovered that "nobody
in Alice is pleasant. They're all eccentrics or insane. Not one person is
normal in any sense." That some of Lewis Carroll's characters are witty
was of no help. "You must remember who you're writing for, and what
they're listening to in everyday life," Kelly says. "Independence
Day is not exactly Noel Coward." Kelly solved his problem by having
the White Rabbit ask Alice if she would be his friend. Normalcy
established, Kelly went on to his next play.
"I compare my plays to daughters," he says. "I do the best I can, and
then they go out and get married. One might marry Prince Charming, another
might marry the guy who pumps gas, and another might end up on the street.
I do what I can with them, but when I'm done, I move on."
AGNES RASPUTIN (a tough student at Last Chance High): Well, well, well.
What have we here? Ha, ha, ha. Hey, Anzac! Come look! Ha, ha, ha.
ANZAC CALGARY (Agnes's male counterpart, a lethal punk): So, I'm
looking.
AGNES: Anzac, you know what I think we've got here?
ANZAC: Tourists.
AGNES: Yeah, tourists. From the Valley... Three Valley Girls and a
friend.
ANZAC: He's a nerd. I can tell. Nerds I step on. Nerds I squash. Ha,
ha.
DOUGLAS (shoves ANZAC on the shoulder): Watch it, Gopher Breath.
ANZAC: Why, you--!
--from Help! I'm Trapped in a High School!, by Tim Kelly
"Hey! Guess what I just got in the mail," Steve Fendrich says. "The
Nifty Fifties!"
The Pioneer office that the mail comes to is no longer a
hole-in-the-wall on Colorado Boulevard but a much fancier warehouse
building in Englewood. Ten employees handle the printing, bulk-mailing and
editing that used to be family chores. Steve has been so busy running the
business that he hasn't had time to write a lyric in more than five years.
Nevertheless, Fendrich dramatists, along with Kelly, are still the
top-sellers at Pioneer. Last year the late Shubert's own Give My
Regards to Broadway was number one on the musicals list, with
Ducktails and Bobbysox a close second. Now, with the delivery of
Kelly's The Nifty Fifties, high schools that have already done
Ducktails and Bobbysox to death will have something new to sink
their teeth into.
Kelly--who lived through the Fifties and found them "kind of
boring"--has nevertheless pulled through with a dependable drama that
takes place in Louise's Luncheonette and revolves around the tension over
whether the heroine will find a place to hold the annual Hippety Hop dance
and whether the famous rock star will perform after all for a small-town
crowd that includes the usual cast of characters, right down to the
Assistant Principal.
"I request formula drama all the time," Steve says. "Tim's Bang,
Bang You're Dead, for instance. That was because I had a gut feeling
we needed to do a play about guns. Not gun control, because that would
make the NRA mad. But not pro-gun, either. When I needed a drug play, Tim
wrote The Empty Chair, which takes place at a substance-abuse
support group."
Lately, Steve's had an inkling that the time is right for an AIDS
play--"although, unfortunately, it can't be about two gay men with AIDS,"
he says. "It's sad, the commercial aspect of this business."
Pioneer's newly inaugurated Social Awareness subsection will deal with
all this and more: Non-Kelly plays in the most recent catalogue mention
eating disorders, steroid abuse, alcoholism and drunk driving--all on one
page.
But there's still room for traditional, affordable, easy kids' stuff.
For Krazy Kamp, a can't-miss summer-camp production. Santa Sees
a Shrink, filled with Christmas hilarity. Hauncho the Hamster
and Emmy Lou and the Big Ragout, surefire hits with the preschool
crowd. It's all available at Pioneer, and one Fendrich or another will
always be at the other end of the line to talk it over.
"See, there's nothing wrong with Carousel or My Fair Lady
or The Sound of Music," Steve says. "But there's nothing wrong with
these other plays, either. There's more parts. Parents will come.
Everyone's happy.
Measure for measure: Bill Francoeur keeps
composed.